The Chiropractic Breakfast Menu

A Parody

By Donald M. Petersen Jr., BS, HCD(hc), FICC(h), Publisher
What if a breakfast menu was developed with the chiropractic profession in mind.....

The Fred Barge

Two soft boiled eggs which were reportedly laid by the descendents of hens kept by B.J. Palmer. Each egg is prepared in a special double boiler to insure it is cooked from above, down and from inside, out.

The Chiropractic College Presidents' Breakfast

A wide variety, but we are never certain what this breakfast consists of due to constant substitutions.

The Peter Fernandez

Originally touted as a soufflé, it was discovered to be ordinary scrambled eggs. The price is three times higher than normal, plus 10% of your food bill for the next two years.

The Joe Keating

Not really on the chiropractic menu, this is a special omelette cooked to very exacting specifications with every ingredient carefully scrutinized. Most appealing to people with very dry, subtle taste buds. The recipe is written in english, but most people still can't understand it.

Researchers Breakfast

Sorry, we haven't had the funds necessary to develop this meal for the menu.

The Terry Rhondberg
(also known as the VSRI breakfast, the WCA breakfast and the ProMark breakfast).

Formally the FSCO breakfast, this meal is always proclaimed as being much better than anything else on the menu. Some customers have complained that it is merely a duplication of other menu selections. Sorry, due to recent political scandals, this meal is no longer available to Arizona Chiropractors.

The Louis Sportelli Italian sausage that is great if you like it, but if it disagrees with you, it really disagrees with you. Note: the Sportelli sausage is part of every meal whether you like it or not.

The Richard Tyler

A breakfast you could day dream about. A complete smorgasbord of edible delights. Although some people become critical of the meal after they've eaten it, at least they had a choice.

Of course there are many other entrees that could be added. If you have some you would like to submit your own ideas, send them to:

The Chiropractic Breakfast Menu
P.O. Box 6100
Huntington Beach, CA 92615
Fax - (714) 536-1482

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