Chester Wilk Cereal
Check all ingredients carefully for a conspiracy, obtain secret formula from an underground source, top with anything that "suits" you and you have Deep Throat cereal, one spoonful and you will talk forever.
Chicken Fried Homeopathy
Made with lots of herbs and botanicals in infinitesimal doses. Fried without reason. Try it, you'll like it. Besides, if it doesn't help, it couldn't hurt.
Chicken Fried Naturopathy
Just like Chicken Fried Homeopathy except you have to eat more of it at every meal; fried without grease or data.
Insurance Company Breakfast
It only comes 80% complete and you have to wait two months for it.
Life College of Chiropractic Breakfast
French toast a la Sid Williams, sausage links a la Sid Williams, fruit juice a la Sid Williams. Menus prepared by Chef Sid Williams. (Meals served by Nell K. Williams.)
Managed Care Breakfast
Health care deal-a-meal. Order one from Column A, two from Column B ... oops, you're not entitled to order from Columns C, D or E, but at least it costs less.
A light and airy simulated meal preferred by champions, leaders and executive types; unlimited seconds. No calories, no sodium, non-cholesterol; free x-rays with coupon.
The Parker College of Chiropractic Breakfast
BLT on WWB with HF and FF. Garnished with IP, CC and CT. (Bacon, lettuce and tomato on whole wheat bread with home fries and fresh fruit. Garnished with Italian parsley, carrot curls and cherry tomato.)
The Don Petersen (three choices)
Food Fight Breakfast - Not meant as serious nutrition, the raw eggs are for throwing at everyone in sight.Straight Chiropractor's Breakfast
The D.M.P., Jr. - Carrying on the family recipe. A hearty stew of ideas served with integrity.
Full Breakfast - This breakfast is a sit down breakfast centered in the middle of the room for all to see. The cuisine being tidbits from the entire menu. The recipient wears a large napkin already splattered by bits and pieces of the menu to alert everyone that everything has been duly masticated equally.
One 96 year-old egg, raw, eaten with the hands only. Must be swallowed whole, shell and all.
The John Triano Breakfast
Served only in a Medical Clinic or Hospital Cafeteria. Seating is with specialists so that digestion is enhanced by ingratiating comments. The cuisine is unimportant, the atmosphere is what you are paying for and the cost is unbelievably high.
DMP Jr., BS, HCD(hc)
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